I was walking downtown today and felt something in my shoe. I got to the office where I work part-time and de-shoed to check out the situation.

It was a British coin.


It's been almost a year since I was in the UK. I have no idea where this coin came from.


Let's cleanse.

I feel like admitting some things.

- I get separation anxiety like a needy beagle.

- I've been reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" for a million years, and am really enjoying it... but still can't shake an addiction to soda. I drink very little alcohol these days, and eat very little red meat. I've never smoked, except for the occasional big stupid stogie on a nice summer night. But soda? This pointless, bubbly corn syrup? Hooked.

- I think "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby might be one of my favorite songs ever. (though that's not really a secret. I've told lots of people how ridiculously great I find that song...)

- On my television right now? "Sleeping with the Enemy".

- I sometimes just get on Google Maps and wander through towns and cities to which I've never been.

There. I feel better. Thanks internets. You are the lapsed protestant's trivial confessional.


Things you should do in the next week:

(Based on a list of things I've done in the last week, and really enjoyed. These are things that are cheap or free, and these days, that sure helps... )

1) Go to the zoo. Especially if you have a cheap or free zoo at your disposal.

2) Roast a chicken. A whole chicken is relatively inexpensive, and if you rinse it well, dry it to prevent steaming, season it with salt and pepper, truss it up, and put it in the oven for an hour or so, it will bring you nothing but joy.

3) If you are fortunate enough to have a living grandparent, call that grandparent.

4) Ride a bike.

5) Make faces at a little kid (preferably one you know, and the faces shouldn't be too scary).

6) Write a letter. Not an e-mail.

7) Clean something out. Anything. A closet. A toilet. A drawer. An ashtray. Anything.

8) Listen to the following songs: Good Man by Josh Ritter. This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads. Let it Whip by the Dazz Band. Concrete Schoolyard by Jurassic Five. Life Is A Highway by Tom Cochrane. I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man by Mr. Prince Rogers Nelson.

9) Lay a smooch on someone.

10) Offend cynics with an overly saccharine list of things to do.

End of Dispatch.