Things you should do in the next week:

(Based on a list of things I've done in the last week, and really enjoyed. These are things that are cheap or free, and these days, that sure helps... )

1) Go to the zoo. Especially if you have a cheap or free zoo at your disposal.

2) Roast a chicken. A whole chicken is relatively inexpensive, and if you rinse it well, dry it to prevent steaming, season it with salt and pepper, truss it up, and put it in the oven for an hour or so, it will bring you nothing but joy.

3) If you are fortunate enough to have a living grandparent, call that grandparent.

4) Ride a bike.

5) Make faces at a little kid (preferably one you know, and the faces shouldn't be too scary).

6) Write a letter. Not an e-mail.

7) Clean something out. Anything. A closet. A toilet. A drawer. An ashtray. Anything.

8) Listen to the following songs: Good Man by Josh Ritter. This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads. Let it Whip by the Dazz Band. Concrete Schoolyard by Jurassic Five. Life Is A Highway by Tom Cochrane. I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man by Mr. Prince Rogers Nelson.

9) Lay a smooch on someone.

10) Offend cynics with an overly saccharine list of things to do.

End of Dispatch.